we all become silent, and
driven to excess
i know you like this
i know of it
this excess of loving, can
we be cured of it? the sphere of our
living is cocooned from
the street noise below - there is
known our own
blending
of taste and espresso within
i fear an implosion or yet
a crack in the framing
of this fragile world - i aware my partaking in your
metamorphosis - i can clearly
recite the colors
of your flight
bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2013
My colors have gone in the shades of grey...a metamorphosis I am not liking- and
ReplyDeletethe cracking and the implossion is already going too far
So glad you can recite a flight for us
Lovely writing B.
Thank you
thank you Dulce nice to hear from you...bkm
Deletei can think of no reason i would want to be cured of an excess of loving...just saying...smiles...reciting the colors of your flight is pretty evocative as well...
ReplyDeleteno there is no reason to be cured from loving...bkm
DeleteTake wing too dear one, your colors outshine all others!
ReplyDeletethank you...I do hope to take wing and experience more colors of this wonderful life...bkm
DeleteReally strong and beautiful poem! By the way what happened to children's verse? I'm blogging after quite some time now, and I miss the prompts you used to give. I really hope you continue that blog, and you also keep writing!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!
~Gaurang
Gaurang, i have not posted in Monday's child for a while now..I have to think about starting that one again...bkm
DeleteThe final two lines really spoke to me. Well, the final stanza actually because you're admitting to be a part of something but writing from the outside perspective
ReplyDeletethank you Gretchen..for your wonderful comments and perspective...bkm
DeleteIf I could mount, like butterfly wings on a framed piece of cardboard, the most evocative words of this verse, I would pin this: 'I can clearly recite the colors of your flight'
ReplyDeleteis not the beauty of being a writer in the mere ablity to take the tools of ones art with you -contained
Deletewithout cover, without passport and without declaration to anothers unwanted customs...
that is what came to me with the reading of your comment...thank you much for your words...bkm
This was beautiful, with an especially powerful ending-- "i can clearly / recite the colors / from your flight"-- I loved it.
ReplyDeleteI especially enjoyed the 3rd stanza-- the crack in the framing of this fragile world-- nice metaphore ~peace, Jason
ReplyDeletethis is beautiful, the compact coccoon, and home. metamorphosis. i always wonder at the proprioception of the change from caterpillar to butterfly or moth. amazing world.
ReplyDeleterich in construction love it , Chris http://velvetmedia.wordpress.com/
ReplyDelete