i followed
the phone lines
and found myself
in the back room, time
collected, had
collected itself, no
mirrors involved
i waited on
another parties ring
peered out
towards their farm
i chose to listen
intent on
hearing your voice, intent
on writing your name
over and over again
as if my own, that had
been my intent, i cut
the line - writing
a shorter name, yet the time
stands still in a room
that refuses dusting
bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011
Posted for One Shoot Sunday - Rob Hanson
"in the back room, time
ReplyDeletecollected had
collected itself, no
mirrors involved"
wow. Even when time stands still, other accumulations follow. Extremely clever poem, bkm
fab word play bk...this made me think of one waiting on the question of a suitor, the witing on a ring, a name like my own...maybe way off base but hey, its poetry
ReplyDeletevery cool and builds an intensity yet leaves you questioning the past ...thanks for sharing
ReplyDelete"i followed
ReplyDeletethe phone lines
and found myself
in the back room..."
wow, loved your poem...
Beautiful and intense account, I would say an account, the reflections are so vivid that true, no mirrors would be involved.The time stands, yet in my heart,I wish to erase some of it.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
i found myself in the back room as well - time collecting itself and a room who refuses to be dusted...think we all refuse to be dusted every once and a while... in a way...
ReplyDeleteLoved how you set this one, and the clever use of "i cut/ the line -writing". So true, we may choose another name, but those memories shall remain. Very much enjoyed your poem ~
ReplyDeleteWhat a notion...a room with will and intent of its own. I'm liking it.
ReplyDeleteSubtle nuances of the wait... simplistic, yet profound depth. Nice write.
ReplyDeletehaven't been around in a bit...so nice to be back and reading your words! this photo prompt is awesome and your piece...satisfies my desire for the poetry I've been missing!
ReplyDeleteenjoyed this...particularly this line "time
ReplyDeletecollected, had
collected itself,"...flows so well.
the collecting of time, the cutting of lines--wonderful. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteLovely poem, the idea of the backroom with its' collection of time and artifacts is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThe waiting retreats to a room refusing to be dusted! The personified ambience is enchanting!
ReplyDeleteI do so enjoy your words.
ReplyDeleteI liked it very much! Timeless quality.
ReplyDelete