i have not come to belly up to the bar
or to cheer on the team
wearing your ring and to remind you of
your daughters birthday, but i'll
take a black russian (Putin politics
on ice) check the climate of
our vows - take future bets on this filly
later we can barter in bed, massage
each other's genitals, melt any Siberian
tundra that might remain
i will tell you i love the accent
in your whispers, the warmth
of your fingers across this belly
counting on one
for the home team - and one for
future of my fantasies
bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011
I don't know whether I should sigh over your heavenly lines or hit someone's head...maybe both. :-) I like these lines:
ReplyDeletelater we can barter in bed, massage
each other's gentiles, melt any Siberian
tundra that might remain
...check the climate of our vows.
ReplyDeleteI love so much about this, wildly imaginative and it really flows. But another poem this week that makes me want to shake the woman a bit... tell her to not be SO nice... he deserves a bit more "gettin' after". I wouldn't be so able to play that game...
A fascinating poem beautifully conveying the ambivalence we all surely feel about love and lovers and loving after a few go-rounds. Did you mean the pun on gentiles? xxxj
ReplyDeleteoh lala this poem made me a little steamy :)
ReplyDeletegreat write as always my friend
Wow quite the sensual peice, wonderfully written!
ReplyDeletePowerful the way you created the pause so that everything turns on "but i'll " ...passion muddles the unforgivable.
ReplyDeletecheck the climate of our vows...wow...this is a powerful write bk...nice play on the fantasy team...and like the word play on it in the final lines...really well done..
ReplyDeleteThere's some contradiction and mixed messages here, as is so often the case in love, so you're batting a thousand there on realism. Bartering is indeed the process, sad but true, and like most commercial enterprises, can take the fun out of fantasy. Excellent and uncomfortably close to home poem.
ReplyDeleteYou have a talent for reducing several chapter-lengths to 110 well-placed words. Turning point for me also was those words, early:
ReplyDelete"...but i'll
take a Black Russian..."
From that moment on--sizzle, sizzle!
To bkm, who "writes them as she sees them"
-clink!!! (Loved it, girl.)
PEACE!
Quite a departure for you my dear. I'll have a cosmo and hang out a while with you. You seem to have seductive powers! Wonderful write as always, G.
ReplyDeleteShhh, catch ya' at half-time.
ReplyDeletewhite Russian for me - just another day of poems and NHL
ReplyDeleteI will sit and have a drink too, to observe what goes on through read
ReplyDeleteheck this is awesome bk...the climate of the vows...melting the siberian tundra...at least for a moment..
ReplyDeleteReally like this entire poem. Black Russians (Putin politics
ReplyDeleteon ice
Just great! I feel there are several messages in this poem.
The foundation of any relationship... trust which is too often missing. Intense piece.
ReplyDeleteThe break returning to the connection is really felt here, sensual with a little distant pain still attached. Beautiful write ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteLove the gentle and authentic eroticism in this.
ReplyDeleteImmensely evocative imagery.
saucy!
ReplyDelete