Monday, March 14, 2011

Krahe - Triolet





What laughter lingers in this pain?
Weathering all their words of sin
I cry for hope and pray for rain
Weathering all their words of sin

Who hears my cry, is all in vain?
I krahe, and krahe on my last bein
What laughter lingers in this pain?
Weathering all their words of sin


bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011

Painting: Krahe by Rudi Hurlzmeier

German : krahe means:   Verb - crow, squawk, cackle,
                                          utter a loud harsh cry
               bein   means:   Noun - leg

Posted for One Shot Wednesday and One Shot Poetry - Triolet Part II

34 comments:

  1. It's a haunting poem. The image is incredible.

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  2. Now that is a beautiful triolet! Love the image and the word. "Krahe"-- one I did not know before. Thank you.

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  3. beautiful triolet written in iambic tetrameter Barbara, the image is haunting and the refrains and their repeats emphasise the eerie feel of the piece! Thank you very much for your support the last two weeks. I hope that you had some fun with the form!

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  4. love the i krahe...line...excellent word play bk...

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  5. Poor mythic winged scapegoat of our badness. Lovely weave of rhyme which counterpoints the darkness and heaviness of this damned bird. It makes me think of Philomena whose tongue was torn out to prevent her speaking the truth about the awful deeds of Tereus. She ends up being turned into a nightingale; 'tis said that when sorrows press sharply (like a beak) into our heart, the nightingale sings. This bird's well of song is Lament, too. -Brendan

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  6. yes, like brian said, I am impressed by the word play on krahe - I LOVE word play. These last two weeks I have really come to like the triolet form (thanks, Shan :) and thanks, to you, bkm, and others who have written them so beautifully.

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  7. this is such a wonderful and to me old world style. Your first line is so powerful that there was no turning away from this poem.

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  8. Indeed - "what laughter lingers in this pain"
    your Triolet carries so much meaning
    an excellent example as well

    thanks for sharing with One Shot

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  9. I love this! Kaw! the image, the words, the form, perfection! Despite the subject, I smile :)

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  10. i love the image and your words match beautifully - krähen are such mysterious birds

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  11. a poem with purpose...well done

    Peace, hp

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  12. Barb, love the triolet and the image is striking.
    Nice one.

    Pamela

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  13. Haunting was a word someone else used, but it fits. The repetition works.

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  14. Very cool use of the word krahe, and how bein kicks into the final two lines (pun intended). Overall very nice use of the triolet form, bkm.

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  15. "I cry for hope and pray for rain..." great line, and I agree with the adjective, haunting, here.

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  16. You have perfect balance here, despite introducing two languages; what might be distracting fits perfectly and emphasizes instead. A fine triolet, barbara-haunting, even.

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  17. OOps. Sorry to sound like a broken record. I seldom read others comments til after I write because I lose my impressions--I'd say "haunting" seems to be the verdict on this one. ;_)

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  18. I want to answer the question and say no one's laughter lingers in the pain. No one's. I really like this, B.K.

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  19. Super poem-- love the German, and the repetition. xj

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  20. Enjoyed the classic style.


    (slightly tainted by your Penguins hammering my Sens last night)

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  21. Dear BKM

    No its not all in vain even though we dont feel or see our words of prayer having any effect... but it does go around changing lives and living... lovely verse BKM and beautiful thoughts... so emotive.
    Thanks for sharing...

    ॐ शांति ॐ
    Om Shanti Om
    May peace be... pray for People of Japan
    ________
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-love-and-insignificance.html
    Connect me at Twitter @VerseEveryDay

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  22. Pain, despair always gives way to a new dawn...

    an ordinary moment

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  23. I nominate you for the versatile poet award..You can claim the award by going to http://poem-myworldofexcitement.blogspot.com/2011/03/versatile-blogger-award.html..
    With Regards,
    Rashmi

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  24. Haunting and equally beautiful... :)
    The image added to the dark appeal!

    Soon this cry would change to smiles.. so say all!
    Love xxx

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  25. you make the triolet form really work for you here. impressive piece.

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  26. Barbara, I liked the blend of languages. The German seemed to add a certain intensity to the poem. Interestingly, there are a lot of ravens cawing around here (Palm Desert) these days.

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  27. touching and beautiful write
    loved the form... haven't tried it yet.

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  28. I love this. The emotions in it speak to me of the krahe's pain as he suffers a drought, parched in the wasteland of man's depravity. Very haunting.

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  29. Triolets by themselves are such a lovely form of poetry... and you give them a rich musical touch with your words, Barbara..
    The emotions in this one were palpable... and oh so touching..

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  30. Beautiful and poignant. The Triolet form suits your subject well.

    (Also, thanks for coming by my blog and leaving a comment - much appreciated!)

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  31. Excellent, as your work often is.

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