Friday, March 4, 2011

across the bay


a train moves towards the night
towards somewhere, towards the city
across the bay

a train moves towards somewhere
towards the night, towards a heart

    towards the city
       across the bay

        click clack

                 click clack

         click clack
      click clack

     towards the city, towards somewhere
     a heart moves towards the bay
     in a train, in the night
                                  click           clack

                                    across the bay

                  click               clack
                  click        clack
                       click clack
           
          a train moves, a heart moves
          across the bay, towards the night
          towards the city;     click

           clack,            to       a  heart
                            click  clack                       
                                                somewhere;
                                                                          across the bay


bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011


Photo provided by Bill Taylor Photography

16 comments:

  1. Lyrical! Read it, and then read it again, for sheer enjoyment.

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  2. Thanks Kim....I love this photo...and wanted to write something to go with it..thank you...bkm

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  4. As someone who enjoys taking photos and writing poetry, I coud really identify with this poem!

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  5. this was great bk...love the sounds of the train and the changing of the words to tell the story...i wonder id it the heart that speaks of the one that watches it leave...across the bay...

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  6. wonderful, bkm. I love the click clacks and the alignment of the words which draws my eyes along as a track does a train.

    I am so excited to see that the Poetry Pantry's book is out! Congratulations are your publication. I am included as well, and obviously in good company :)

    Also, there is an award for you on my blog today at http://sheila-moore.blogspot.com

    hope you have a wonderful weekend.

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  7. Loved it.......almost felt like I was on the train:)

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  8. This is imaginative writing of the finest, clack-click-clack. How can a complete story be told with so few words? Well, it is not the words tell the story, but those thoughts derived therefrom.

    And a striking photo of immovable bridge structures...paced with the speed of modern trains. Awesome! Thank you. PEACE!

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  9. you made me want to hop on a train... riding them is one of my favorite things to do...

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  10. Great work of art here , Barbara

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  11. Absolutely mesmerizing! Love the "click clack"--thinking about how a train may sound as it speeds up or slows down. And you used this to great effect towards the end to suggest a heart beat. What I like most though is how moody it is--traveling at night always inspires so many complex emotions in me. I really enjoyed this poem!

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  12. Thank you all...to many to mention friends...for your gracious comments...I am liking this poem more and more....the photo is one I may have to purchase a copy of ...I just love it and the this photographer work....thanks again...bkm

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  13. when one can read and feel the speed, woman, you are unique
    i love trains wherever they go

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  14. yes, i can feel it.... i can hear it....

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  15. i love train travel. i've written a number of poems about it over the years. this one is better.

    i like the subtle changes throughout, the movement, the rhythm

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  16. Marvelous poem with eye-catching form and lovely movement.

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