a train moves towards the night
towards somewhere, towards the city
across the bay
a train moves towards somewhere
towards the night, towards a heart
towards the city
across the bay
click clack
click clack
click clack
click clack
towards the city, towards somewhere
a heart moves towards the bay
in a train, in the night
click clack
across the bay
click clack
click clack
click clack
a train moves, a heart moves
across the bay, towards the night
towards the city; click
clack, to a heart
click clack
somewhere;
across the bay
bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011
Photo provided by Bill Taylor Photography
Lyrical! Read it, and then read it again, for sheer enjoyment.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kim....I love this photo...and wanted to write something to go with it..thank you...bkm
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ReplyDeleteAs someone who enjoys taking photos and writing poetry, I coud really identify with this poem!
ReplyDeletethis was great bk...love the sounds of the train and the changing of the words to tell the story...i wonder id it the heart that speaks of the one that watches it leave...across the bay...
ReplyDeletewonderful, bkm. I love the click clacks and the alignment of the words which draws my eyes along as a track does a train.
ReplyDeleteI am so excited to see that the Poetry Pantry's book is out! Congratulations are your publication. I am included as well, and obviously in good company :)
Also, there is an award for you on my blog today at http://sheila-moore.blogspot.com
hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Loved it.......almost felt like I was on the train:)
ReplyDeleteThis is imaginative writing of the finest, clack-click-clack. How can a complete story be told with so few words? Well, it is not the words tell the story, but those thoughts derived therefrom.
ReplyDeleteAnd a striking photo of immovable bridge structures...paced with the speed of modern trains. Awesome! Thank you. PEACE!
you made me want to hop on a train... riding them is one of my favorite things to do...
ReplyDeleteGreat work of art here , Barbara
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely mesmerizing! Love the "click clack"--thinking about how a train may sound as it speeds up or slows down. And you used this to great effect towards the end to suggest a heart beat. What I like most though is how moody it is--traveling at night always inspires so many complex emotions in me. I really enjoyed this poem!
ReplyDeleteThank you all...to many to mention friends...for your gracious comments...I am liking this poem more and more....the photo is one I may have to purchase a copy of ...I just love it and the this photographer work....thanks again...bkm
ReplyDeletewhen one can read and feel the speed, woman, you are unique
ReplyDeletei love trains wherever they go
yes, i can feel it.... i can hear it....
ReplyDeletei love train travel. i've written a number of poems about it over the years. this one is better.
ReplyDeletei like the subtle changes throughout, the movement, the rhythm
Marvelous poem with eye-catching form and lovely movement.
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