i have sweet dreams, and
melancholy feelings
as long shadows
as long shadows
mark the
wall
wall
it is the
framework
of our love affair making
its last
and final curtain call
and final curtain call
the finale of a performance - torn
as lights complete a slow,
dire fading out,
and you bow your head in
dire fading out,
and you bow your head in
silence
to bless mine
with a fatal kiss
while the stage play that was - us
escapes
unnoticed down the hall
bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2010
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful I read it three times.
Bravo! :)
i like the stageplay scenery - cool idea and very beautiful..
ReplyDelete(you may want check the spelling on performance..)
nice...love the fatal kiss as it escapes down the hall...nice personification...
ReplyDeletehey claudia is stealing my job...smiles.
Wow that is heartbreak in the fullest. I love your writing. Wonderful.
ReplyDeletewow...end scene
ReplyDeletethat was really well done and so very sad
You know it's good when you want to read it over and over again, like a song you keep playing.
ReplyDeletethank you all commenters and editor...(brian + claudia) so glad you are out there everyone...blessings...bkm
ReplyDeletestaged romance... i love it!
ReplyDeleteLovely, romantic, beautiful writing. Love the end scene tho... 'while the stage play that was - us escapes down the hall'.
ReplyDeleteGreat writing.
This was such a beautiful poem read ... a very romantic but sad scene you set! Great Magpie!
ReplyDeletebeautifully said!
ReplyDeleteDear bkm,
ReplyDeleteWillow's photo set the same feelings in me. Loved your poignant take -from title to the very last word down the hall.
I really enjoyed the opportunity to get to know you better in the interview over at Jingle's. Fabulous job by Tracy.
Love the idea of a fatal kiss. Lucky it's not a readily available weapon . Very romantic and poignant.
ReplyDeleteJust so beautifully written, a joy to read.
ReplyDeleteI loved it. Even the deep melancholy of it.
ReplyDeleteLove this - a beautifully written, bittersweet Magpie. The final lines are striking, especially:
ReplyDeletewhile the stage play that was - us
escapes
unnoticed down the hall
"dire fading out"
ReplyDelete"while the stage play that was - us
escapes
unnoticed down the hall" Just beautiful -- so plaintive and melancholy.
Very sweet, a fatal kiss... wow great read!
ReplyDeleteThis one begs me to interpolate, and create the entire drama in my mind...wonderful poem!
ReplyDeleteWonderful piece. This last line wraps it up just perfectly.
ReplyDeleteYou have such an amazing style Bkm....i just love this poem...bitter sweet and beautiful!
ReplyDelete:-)
Love the 'stage' you put this on.
ReplyDeleteI loved those first lines very much.
Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous poem
ReplyDeleteThis is my new favorite of yours. I've felt that loss before.
ReplyDelete