Sunday, October 24, 2010
Papilionoidea
i saw a girl walk by, odd
she was using lightning rods for curlers
they seemed to give her direction
like antennas on a papilionoidea
while sparks shot out, up
from the tips
of her silver toed boots, shooting
stars they were
that
required a different, solitary kind of attention
one with her name on it -
pink bows, black gloves kind of name
fame was her motive, her action, walking
with reaction in mind, time
and timing (wristwatch ring,
ringing "hello") holding
her wings even keel
their eyes
sat asymmetrical, metrically off
one focused forward
one focused behind, blind too plus
everyone else could see - she
was going to be somebody someday - maybe
later today - she
floated down the wet gray walk
of a city dripping morning news - lightning flashed!
dashed she did
heading straight for the alley
i ran after her
just as she caught a ride on the back
of an alley cat with two left feet and a crooked tail
he scampered up the escape ladder
to the top floor - she yelled out "I want to
learn to fly - before I head off to
to beauty college"...
bkmackenzie
2010
random musings.....on butterflies disguised as people - are you one?
Posted for One Shot Wednesday; Where Poets and Writers Meet
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ha. surreal imagery....loved it...on the back of an alley cat...and smiles at what she yelled...
ReplyDeleteI love the Magritte way you have with words!
ReplyDeleteSplendid surrealality...is that even a word?
This poem was a delight from start to finish. What a delightful picture of this young woman you painted with your words.
ReplyDeleteWhat a delight Barb.
ReplyDeletePamela
What a wonderful whimsical piece of reading...I was taken in at once by the title; of course I looked it up to be sure. Then, the poem kept me reading each line a time or two to make sure I read it correctly...I could see it all playing out in my mind so clearly. An excellent poem!
ReplyDeleteWhat whimsy and imagery, nice job. I commented on your other poem under Susan...signed in to the wrong google account.
ReplyDeleteA wonderfully rich imaginative entertaining and fun read! Love the lightning rods for curlers, and her catching a ride on the back of the alley cat. Pretty darn cool:)
ReplyDeleteYou have played with the words beautifully..bkm ,her amibition walking using lightning rods ,her thinking and the final end of the poem.Enjoyed it
ReplyDeletewhat a lovely imagery that your words created here, bkm!
ReplyDeleteYou sure know how to paint a picture....love it ;)
ReplyDeleteI hope she did fly...
ReplyDeleteThe last line had me grinning, bkm. What a unique and visual and startling piece. Loved it!
This is glorious Bkm....:-)
ReplyDeleteSubject verb problems & some word choices that I don't think serve the poem. There's movement of thought at least.
ReplyDeleteWhat a magical weaving of imagery & words here. An artful puzzle that deserves extra readings and musings to savor.
ReplyDeleteHow funny! I just love your descriptions here.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed you One Shot, wonderful!
ReplyDeleteGood write. Surreal as it was, half way through I thought you'd met Lady Gaga but the fireworks scared her off me. Like this kind of stuff; lots of fun to read. Thanks, Gay @beachanny
ReplyDeleteThis was so beautifully surreal.
ReplyDeletegreat imaginary
ReplyDeletenice one shot :)
This was a delightfully clever poem, BKM. Such fun to read!
ReplyDeletealmost magical surreal..wonderfully written with a great use of imagery
ReplyDeletealso loved this line for the pace:
..fame was her motive, her action, walking
with reaction in mind, time
and timing...
I love this. Great one shot. Love and Light, Sender
ReplyDeleteIts stark and powerful imagery... I enjoyed it a lot...
ReplyDeleteॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
I love the colorful whimsy in this. From start to finish (love the last line!), it was a delight.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderfully abstract and surreal description. I loved every line.
ReplyDeleteButterflies as people.. lovely poem, surreal in wordplay.. nice one Mackie! :)
ReplyDeleteMy One Shot Is Here
"was going to be somebody someday - maybe
ReplyDeletelater today" - and the butterfly was someone! Great imagination!
This I call a POEM, a real poem- written so that saying 'Great one'is kind of not enough... I just got the feeling and the magic to me it brought.
ReplyDelete;)
reading you is always a pleasure.
Dulce
You are an awesome poet. Each time I read your stuff, it inspires me to write better!
ReplyDeleteWas she the catwoman?
ReplyDeletenice surrealistic imagery here!
Love the first stanza on this. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautifully weird and cinematic.
ReplyDeleteI loved this even more the second time through. Wonderful images, what an imagination! Good one, bkm!
ReplyDeleteI am not a man dreaming I'm a butterfly, I'm a butterfly dreamiing I'm a man.
ReplyDeleteNice piece... rather lovely in fact, despite it's oddity.
What an imagination! I'm sure she was heading for Witch School!
ReplyDeleteWow loved it bkm...I think she will eventually need a part two that finds her in beauty college lol. I love how the odd ones make you smile deep inside. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteLove the fun you had with this; loved the fun I had with this.
ReplyDeleteVery very intriguing write.
ReplyDeletejust as she caught a ride on the back
ReplyDeleteof an alley cat with two left feet and a crooked tail
Loved it!
BKM, I liked this one when I read it before; and I like it even more when I read it again!
ReplyDeleteInteresting, confusing, engrossing. I really like it.
ReplyDeletevivid imagery,
ReplyDeleteI see you and the girl running and have everything there...
it is kind of weird indeed.
Barbara,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your poem. The pace and imagery were captivating!
A wonderfully weird journey with words...
Best wishes, Eileen
A wonderful poem, lots of imagery.It leaves one thinking.
ReplyDelete