Monday, August 8, 2016

colorless rain

if god made
wonder
to paint the true heart
i whisper away and listen not well

and if god made the day
to further his cause
to thrust upon man his limitless wise

then in wisdom i fail, fall
short and repeated
in word and in prayer my stand
in mankind

for i am not free as in
willing
or freedom
but write with such fault
purporting in vain
lost to the world
its maker, its beauty
laughing in awe
of the colorless rain

no i am not free nor my voice
nor my wonder
much less the thoughts breath
i find i am beating
(repeating) i find

no more free i than
the swallow is free of its
wing

bkmackenzie
2016

Linked to the Poetry Panty 

36 comments:

  1. Wonderful flow. Appreciate you sharing.

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    1. thank you Martin for taking the time to read my poetry...bkm

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  2. lyrical right to that most wonderful of endings

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    1. Thank you very much so appreciated...bkm

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  3. Really powerful and beautiful piece. Absolutely love this:
    and if god made the day
    to further his cause
    to thrust upon man his limitless wise
    then in wisdom i fail,

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  4. Gayle Walters RoseAugust 11, 2016 at 12:57 PM

    I love this beautiful piece that questions freedom and free will...quite profound I think.

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  5. This is just cryptic enough for me to stand here scratching my head for the rest of the day...ah, you clever thing, you!

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  6. Yes, the flow is th the thing here, together with sublime thoughts that swirl so... My fave of the night so far.. For example:
    "its beauty
    laughing in awe
    of the colourless rain" Terrific! More of this please...

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  7. Oh I do love the concluding lines... how can we ever be free of the beating (repeating)...

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    1. Love to revisit... the swallow and it's double meaning worked on me this time.

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  8. The questions you posed reverberates here... when can we say that we really are free?

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  9. At the end we all seek freedom.
    I really liked the flow in these words. Well penned.

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  10. Love the concluding 3 lines. Goes to show that freedom might not always be a good thing

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  11. I love the rhythm of this poem and its lyricism. Thanks.

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  12. And your words ARE full of knowing - even the notion of Colourless Rain is really quite stunning - a thought that would pass by unnoticed had you not caught it so carefully

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  13. This is gorgeous, especially "laughing in awe of the colorless rain", and "no more free than the swallow is free of its wing". Wow!

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  14. Beautiful; and I enjoyed the comparison at the end. So much to wonder about!

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  15. Not free to be not free--that is completely winged!

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  16. ha...our limit is set by default....can't cross the boundary...sigh...a beautifully reflective poem...

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  17. It moves with the rhythm of a song until just before the end, then the last verse changes in rhythm – perhaps appropriate to the mood of that particular conclusion.

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  18. Very good. An ejoyable read and re-read too.

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