Thursday, October 13, 2011

last petal






she has covered all orifices
placing last petal over pleasure,

peace rings somwhere, not here,
here lies silence, a pilfered victory garden

here lies deep resolve laced with hope -
the climate is changing, has changed

walls understand - hear whispers
of autumns fading; callused hands grope

for love as any other lover, with a wind
closing all fresh aired openings

she pulls in her giving, she pushes
away any taking - surrenders - submits - to sleep

alone


bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011

posted for d'Verse - Friday Meeting at the Bar

24 comments:

  1. wow...excellent blend of nature into human emotion...intimate and chilly...nice...so who were you playing off of?

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  2. I was actually thinking of our friend Maureen She uses a lot of this style, but must say I did not read that part of the write up. This was one I had as a draft and had some time yo finish....bkm

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  3. Oooh. So gently sensual, Barbara. A stunning personification of nature and perfect for the season. Actually, for me, it brings to mind the work of Mary Oliver who writes splendid nature poetry. Or perhaps Stanley Kunitz.

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  4. Beautiful, so pleased that calloused hands still long for touch. Sensual and soft.

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  5. Sometimes pulling in giving and pushing away taking and sleeping alone is what is very necessary. I like this poem, its composition, its depth.

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  6. A beautiful serene feeling came over me, reading your words and glancing at the photo of a few colorful leaves remaining in a grey forest..... powerful images.......

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  7. you captured the mood of all endings...may it be the end of a season or love or whatever..serenity yes but also loneliness and the sense of death...well composed bk

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  8. Thank you Mary, John and Claudia I am glad you all enjoyed it...bkm

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  9. I agree-- fresh language, unique imagery-- I think the spareness of the couplets works very well here. xxxj

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  10. I can add no pithy comment here. This is truly lovely, and I suppose I can only sigh.

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  11. Each one better than the last, it would be hard to choose a fav! Tender...

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  12. beautiful poem.
    embattled love and the wounded.
    ''she has covered all orifices'' first line ropes us in.
    and the ''walls understand'' has seen and hear it all.
    great, beautiful, poem.
    thank you.

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  13. Excellent poem. Just love the word play and imagery. I do not know who you were inspired by but this is beautiful.


    Melanie

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  14. how soft and powerful. It is perfectly seasonal.

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  15. It is intimate, so personal; I love it~
    I love the play of back n' forth the beauty than the reality~ Beautiful, yet sad~

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  16. You make the season have breath and life in this Bkm....this is breathtaking indeed! :-)

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  17. Such elegant writing, bkm, as always. Wow. Just beautiful.

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  18. and beautiful too! (it is very early morning here)

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  19. Nice use of couplets leading to a very stark final image.

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  20. nice blend of nature and humanity

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