Thursday, October 13, 2011

last petal






she has covered all orifices
placing last petal over pleasure,

peace rings somwhere, not here,
here lies silence, a pilfered victory garden

here lies deep resolve laced with hope -
the climate is changing, has changed

walls understand - hear whispers
of autumns fading; callused hands grope

for love as any other lover, with a wind
closing all fresh aired openings

she pulls in her giving, she pushes
away any taking - surrenders - submits - to sleep

alone


bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011

posted for d'Verse - Friday Meeting at the Bar
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23 comments:

  1. Brian MillerOctober 13, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    wow...excellent blend of nature into human emotion...intimate and chilly...nice...so who were you playing off of?

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  2. signed...bkmOctober 13, 2011 at 1:32 PM

    I was actually thinking of our friend Maureen She uses a lot of this style, but must say I did not read that part of the write up. This was one I had as a draft and had some time yo finish....bkm

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  3. VictoriaOctober 13, 2011 at 1:55 PM

    Oooh. So gently sensual, Barbara. A stunning personification of nature and perfect for the season. Actually, for me, it brings to mind the work of Mary Oliver who writes splendid nature poetry. Or perhaps Stanley Kunitz.

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  4. signed...bkmOctober 13, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    Thank you Victoria... bkm

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  5. AnonymousOctober 13, 2011 at 2:28 PM

    Beautiful, so pleased that calloused hands still long for touch. Sensual and soft.

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  6. signed...bkmOctober 13, 2011 at 3:10 PM

    thank you winter..bkm

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  7. MaryOctober 13, 2011 at 3:42 PM

    Sometimes pulling in giving and pushing away taking and sleeping alone is what is very necessary. I like this poem, its composition, its depth.

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  8. AnonymousOctober 13, 2011 at 7:47 PM

    A beautiful serene feeling came over me, reading your words and glancing at the photo of a few colorful leaves remaining in a grey forest..... powerful images.......

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  9. ClaudiaOctober 13, 2011 at 9:18 PM

    you captured the mood of all endings...may it be the end of a season or love or whatever..serenity yes but also loneliness and the sense of death...well composed bk

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  10. signed...bkmOctober 13, 2011 at 9:22 PM

    Thank you Mary, John and Claudia I am glad you all enjoyed it...bkm

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  11. Jenne' R. Andrews October 13, 2011 at 9:35 PM

    I agree-- fresh language, unique imagery-- I think the spareness of the couplets works very well here. xxxj

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  12. annell4October 14, 2011 at 5:28 AM

    Each one better than the last, it would be hard to choose a fav! Tender...

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  13. tinkwelbornOctober 14, 2011 at 3:56 PM

    beautiful poem.
    embattled love and the wounded.
    ''she has covered all orifices'' first line ropes us in.
    and the ''walls understand'' has seen and hear it all.
    great, beautiful, poem.
    thank you.

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  14. The Noiseless CuckooclockOctober 15, 2011 at 6:13 AM

    some stunning lines here,
    amazing piece.

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  15. Cassiopeia RisesOctober 15, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    Excellent poem. Just love the word play and imagery. I do not know who you were inspired by but this is beautiful.


    Melanie

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  16. Lorna CahallOctober 15, 2011 at 6:42 PM

    how soft and powerful. It is perfectly seasonal.

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  17. EllaNovember 3, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    It is intimate, so personal; I love it~
    I love the play of back n' forth the beauty than the reality~ Beautiful, yet sad~

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  18. Carrie Van HornNovember 3, 2011 at 2:46 PM

    You make the season have breath and life in this Bkm....this is breathtaking indeed! :-)

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  19. Sherry Blue SkyNovember 3, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    Such elegant writing, bkm, as always. Wow. Just beautiful.

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  20. Isabel DoyleNovember 3, 2011 at 9:05 PM

    brautiful lines

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  21. Isabel DoyleNovember 3, 2011 at 9:06 PM

    and beautiful too! (it is very early morning here)

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  22. rchNovember 4, 2011 at 5:47 AM

    Nice use of couplets leading to a very stark final image.

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  23. AnonymousNovember 6, 2011 at 11:23 AM

    nice blend of nature and humanity

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