Thursday, August 18, 2011

character (a vision of God)

chiseled, cast - slow
to conform
toward parenting or parish-ship
a life sainted set in grey
relief - stead i

took to a muses handling 
of edge to sharp to stand alone , all
Rilke and rotund - roses spread on a barren
ground - this failing heir of Herculine
fond not of any sculptor's tool

curtailing nights to walk
in dust - foreshortening faith 
to purge the cleansing of any word - from dust i came
so to it - i sit now in full view,  not full of grace
or hypocritical refrain
for a sinful souls renewal

dreamt of it, i dream of it - maquette complete
to hand and with
ancient muse to guide both
word and character to stone, i speak
into the marble - a vision of  God -
that i intend in this life's ending
to be called -  my very own.

copyrighted 2011


  1. now you had me with Rilke...he's def. one of my fav of the old the sculpture and for me it feels like you're molding and folding your words around it

  2. nice...i like the rilke ref as well...and the rhyme rotund and barren is tight...smiles on the formation into that image of God as well...nice bk

  3. Though you mention Rilke, this piece actually put me in mind of a Gibran piece that Luke introduced me to 'On Children'. Not only is the mood of the piece similar but I also think there are parallels in the message/premise of both pieces.

    Herculine Bardin, such a sad story and a very fitting personification of forced identity, being moulded by the hands/ideals of others.

    Though beautifully written I think some readers might find it difficult to grasp the poem without the background knowledge. Nevertheless a very thoughtful, exquisitely executed piece.

  4. The sculpture itself seems woven through your words and the resulting tapestry is rich in depth of meaning, color of emotion and intent.

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  6. thank you all and Carys thank you for your input...true on the Herculine...but in generalized terms I feel we all have bits of Herculine within...moulded and labeled by home and society...true character is the blending of both masculine and feminine into that person that we are made to become...thanks for your input...bkm

  7. Because I recognized the scupture as being by Rodin (his "emerging" pieces are among my favorites), you had me from the beginning. Herculine Bardin's story is so tragic, and La Danaide is a perfect representation. One can easily imagine the exhaustion and frustration of trying to figure out who she was and to fit in leading to suicide in the end. You poem captures that well.

  8. Thank you Patti..I always respect your input..bkm

  9. I love the voice you used here. I could feel doom resonating in the lines.

  10. bkm~
    You've highlighted what I consider an eternal theme... we are all trying to decide who, what we are. We are all products of environment and predispositions. Those whose truth defies their community norms struggle greatly to emerge. Sometimes, too many times, they fail and pay the ultimate personal price.

  11. bkm,
    It's fascinating! A question of mood. Yearnings to emulate. You brought it out very well. We all want to be there!

  12. Claudia mentioned that your words feel as if they are folding and molding around the sculpture. That's what struck me, too.

  13. You are a clever artsy one. Always enjoy a visit here. I took a liken to roses spread on a barren ground. A great image/contrast of dying beauty and its future place of decay and rest. I enjoyed it!

  14. Very nicely sculpted piece,, loved the last lines
    and Rilke is one my fav poets as well :)

  15. I loved this piece! A treasure in itself!

  16. Coo! I had to re-read this till it sank in and I could see how you had moulded the words to emerge and shape as an epitaph to Herculine (what a wonderful name.)
    I haven't read Rilke so can't relate to that reference but it didn't really matter to me.

    I could hear this as a monologue, the rhythm flows and ebbs.


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  18. This stanza speaks so strongly across the poem to your use of "parish-ship" in the first - "curtailing nights to walk
    in dust - foreshortening faith
    to purge the cleansing of any word - from dust i came
    so to it - i sit now in full view, not full of grace
    or hypocritical refrain
    for a sinful souls renewalk"

    There is a personal death with its own agony in forsaking that faith of our parents. Then one strikes out in the dead of night to face our God with truth found in our own hearts, taught by our own muse and we trust that truth more than all the words hurled at us in church.

    Brave write, my friend! Kudos

  19. always! And it seems I've learned of something new, so a grand new adventure of reading and research lies ahead for me...never, ever a disappointment...I so enjoy my visits!

  20. This poem is rich with imagery. For me the relationship from image to image could be a little clearer-- the issue for me is the syntax, the order of your words. I feel it best to mix concretion in with abstraction/use of abstract words and you've done that beautifully here. I've been writing to the Rilke postings myself. xxxj

  21. Exquisite from the first line to the last, Barb.


  22. I like the imagery right away with the beginning stanza which grasps your attention immediately posted with the sculpture.