Saturday, June 18, 2011

i read


i read about
you, right above the snow line
you left word to reach
up, up toward the blue
to hold tight to the miminimal shore line
life it too little, it's days too few

that falling bares
 something
colder, shorter, unkinder than thoughts
 of a sky

i read you reached
for a heaven, left this earth
that you never really
as i read just
 died


bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011

Posted for One Shoot Sunday at One Stop Poetry
photo by Chris Galford


23 comments:

  1. "that falling bears / something / colder, shorter, unkinder than thoughts / of a sky" lovely commentary in a creative, poetic commemoration.

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  2. Dare I say that, in many ways, your grammar is all wrong. Yet your message captivates me, as you seem to see such a beautiful perspective that captures the soul and dances upon it. Wow, wow, wow! to what you've seen in this forgotten message of the graffiti artist almost buried up in snow. Thank you

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  3. Intriguing line breaks/word choices.

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  4. You captured the essence of the picture and heightened it to a new level of enlightenment. True, the choice of breaks captivates the reader, taking him into your world of imagery.
    Beautiful.

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  5. I read about you, and I saw you.. congrats BKM

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  6. Our lives are always close to the minimal shoreline...

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  7. i love the right above the snow line...you picked up something real and gave this a whole new dimension...

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  8. falling bears??? wow, look out below!

    sorry, bk, i couldn't resist!

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  9. That photo - "graffiti in the snow" - is fascinating - and you used words to tell the story,a nd tell it well. Good one, B.K.

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  10. Yes, it's interesting what we can do with literacy,knowledge, how even the poorest and most marginal reach for art to lift themselves above the minimal. Nice one, bkm.

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  11. thanks everyone - hope I corrected some of my grammar...I put this together quick before heading to bed and as some know I can be a little short on the editing side...please forgive...glad you like it..bkm

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  12. As with any sentence of worth, drop the words. What is left behind will stir the human heart, its very soul...

    forget where I read that!
    GOOD!

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  13. Intense, beautiful, imaginative/painful, moving-- valuable. xxxj

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  14. Multilayered - has a personal feel but an application so universal. Well done, as always. Gay

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  15. Enjoyed how you used, I read; nice take on the photo ~

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  16. Beautiful words, the message of those lingering before you in space and time. The symbol of their art sits wonderfully in this piece. Great write! ~Rose

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  17. life it too little, it's days too few...
    so true. You captured this beautifully.

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  18. Beautiful piece of writing, Barb. The solemness of it is intriguing.

    Pamela

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  19. So beautiful. "Its days too few". Yes.

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  20. I believe none of us never really "just die" - enjoyed this and was so happy to see that you stopped by my blog today :) hope you are well.

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  21. Really nice post! Beautiful and loved the image.

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  22. So much inspired and imagined from graffiti many would see as a blur of chaos. Reaching for the sky. Lovely.

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