i read about
you, right above the snow line
you left word to reach
up, up toward the blue
to hold tight to the miminimal shore line
life it too little, it's days too few
that falling bares
something
colder, shorter, unkinder than thoughts
of a sky
i read you reached
for a heaven, left this earth
that you never really
as i read just
died
bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011
Posted for One Shoot Sunday at One Stop Poetry
photo by Chris Galford
photo by Chris Galford
"that falling bears / something / colder, shorter, unkinder than thoughts / of a sky" lovely commentary in a creative, poetic commemoration.
ReplyDeleteIntriguing line breaks/word choices.
ReplyDeleteYou captured the essence of the picture and heightened it to a new level of enlightenment. True, the choice of breaks captivates the reader, taking him into your world of imagery.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful.
nice. well spun piece bk.
ReplyDeleteI read about you, and I saw you.. congrats BKM
ReplyDeleteOur lives are always close to the minimal shoreline...
ReplyDeletei love the right above the snow line...you picked up something real and gave this a whole new dimension...
ReplyDeletefalling bears??? wow, look out below!
ReplyDeletesorry, bk, i couldn't resist!
That photo - "graffiti in the snow" - is fascinating - and you used words to tell the story,a nd tell it well. Good one, B.K.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's interesting what we can do with literacy,knowledge, how even the poorest and most marginal reach for art to lift themselves above the minimal. Nice one, bkm.
ReplyDeletethanks everyone - hope I corrected some of my grammar...I put this together quick before heading to bed and as some know I can be a little short on the editing side...please forgive...glad you like it..bkm
ReplyDeleteAs with any sentence of worth, drop the words. What is left behind will stir the human heart, its very soul...
ReplyDeleteforget where I read that!
GOOD!
Intense, beautiful, imaginative/painful, moving-- valuable. xxxj
ReplyDeleteMultilayered - has a personal feel but an application so universal. Well done, as always. Gay
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed how you used, I read; nice take on the photo ~
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words, the message of those lingering before you in space and time. The symbol of their art sits wonderfully in this piece. Great write! ~Rose
ReplyDeletelife it too little, it's days too few...
ReplyDeleteso true. You captured this beautifully.
Beautiful piece of writing, Barb. The solemness of it is intriguing.
ReplyDeletePamela
So beautiful. "Its days too few". Yes.
ReplyDeleteI believe none of us never really "just die" - enjoyed this and was so happy to see that you stopped by my blog today :) hope you are well.
ReplyDeleteReally nice post! Beautiful and loved the image.
ReplyDeleteSo much inspired and imagined from graffiti many would see as a blur of chaos. Reaching for the sky. Lovely.
ReplyDelete