let's speak primal
of lust and sex - primal
of mud and mating, clay
to form
salt it and call it image,
call it good - this is the (I) manifested
maturated, ripened
yet never whole - wholeness conceptualized
is forever unknowable
the (I ) of womb has shed
ghosts of me times-ed over - as (I) forge
barefoot
the earth takes from me
wash my face,
trim a brow, the
ghosts of me flow to the sea gods
to the wheel of my makers
hand
(I) can see self
beating against a rock faced
shore, floating in blue gray, grayer cumulo-
nimbus filled wet, wanton of release; (I)
consecrated to
stone - touch, touched knows of me
as the (I) knows of you
primal replete with limb, sweating
secrets wept warm, salivated, tasted
of bodies un-whole - filled (I) you unknowingly
to carry the ghost of me - as I
carry willingly - a ghost of
(You)
bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011
dang visceral write...the i or womb has shed the ghost of me...really that is a mind blowing line...i really like this one bk
ReplyDeleteWho am I to even suggest to comment on poetry so well thought, so well written?
ReplyDeleteReferences to biblical stuff (creation) really grabbed my attention. In the end, I do believe each, everything, all creation is one big Spirit of Love.
You are worthily read, and enjoyed, by me.
Ah, at your best! Wonderful imagery.
ReplyDeletewow - this is amazing bk - earthy and powerful
ReplyDeleteStanding outside and watching--the ghosts, the wisps of self given to others to carry, or do they just rub off independent of our will? and the freight of them we also bear. Loved this one, barbara, esp. the cumulonimbus.
ReplyDeleteA fantastic write - you are going deep these days, Barbara. Wonderful writing!
ReplyDeleteThis is amazing work; primal, powerful, memorable. I can't pluck any one thing from it--it is so Whole.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
wow, like always, I'm blown away... the (|) floating through really adds something great.. can't quite put my finger on it.. very mysterious and leaves me in deep wonder.
ReplyDeletethose last two lines were my favorite, but the whole piece is hauntingly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI love the power, the strength, the sense of self in this, especially here:
ReplyDelete"the (I) of womb has shed/ghosts of me times-ed over - as (I) forge/barefoot.
It gave me chills.
That last line gives this piece an entirely different meaning. I really appreciate the diction, the pace, the broken cadence. Well done, bkm...
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/05/16/as-i-am-meant-to-be/
Beautifully written!
ReplyDeletewow, provocative and powerful!
ReplyDeleteLove this piece..."rock faced shore." Great write!
ReplyDeletei felt originality in this...very well written...cheers pete
ReplyDeleteThis is an amzing poem Barb.
ReplyDeleteYou had my attention with the very first words!
"let's speak primal
of lust and sex"
and then the way you so meticulously weave, i dare say seductively slither, through it all until at last you reach that climatic moment...
"sweating
secrets wept warm, salivated, tasted
of bodies un-whole - filled (I) you unknowingly
to carry the ghost of me - as I
carry willingly - a ghost of
(You)"
This is absolutely masterful! I actually tasted and consumed each word of it! By the way, the photo sets it up very nicely too.
:-)
"filled (I) you unknowingly
ReplyDeleteto carry the ghost of me - as I
carry willingly - a ghost of
(You)" LOVE THIS LINE!!!
Love it! Very sensual
ReplyDeleteYour creativity/originality just explodes in this one, Barbara. It's cold here today, but it certainly warmed up quickly. :0)
ReplyDeleteMasterful and thoughtful writing again Barb. I love the lives:
ReplyDelete"filled (I) you unknowingly
to carry the ghost of me - as I
carry willingly - a ghost of
(You)"
And yet it is hard to say that because each stanza, each line, each word carries itself like a well-played note from a well-tuned instrument...so beautifully written...you had me from the first seven words!~