the stockyards
have been shut down
for decades,
stench
of
dead flesh lingers
for marked consumption, or
decay
Pan yields to flawed
abilities
in quickening a body's,
renaissance
concedes, instrument
to a
younger god
bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011
Posted for One Stop Poetry - One Shoot Sunday, Photographer Fee Easton
Bespeaks of spiritual decay and the demise of simpler times. The Pan reference is very revealing and adds depth being a god to flocks and tunes. Great Challenge Response, bkm!
ReplyDeleteOnly you could see those smokes as the twisted pipes of Pan, my friend. Solid write, full of uncomfortable insight and fine description.
ReplyDeleteagh - tight and "uncomfortable" write
ReplyDeleteAs others have noted, the reference to poor disheveled Pan's "flawed" pipe is frickin' brilliant! "Dead flesh lingers" speaks volumes in this tight, compressed write. I can almost smell the stink of it here. While all things must concede to time and to what is younger, I think it's that lingering that makes me most uncomfortable. Fantastic write, bkm!
ReplyDeletenice...how far we have fallen...love the pan/renaissance line...
ReplyDeletewe are drifting toward decay...interesting take for certain
ReplyDeletePeace, hp
I love it that you take such direct aim without having to directly victimize this poor girl ... she's taken such a beating today in the Challenge -- Yet you manage a deeper sort of violence. I didn't quite get the Pan-pipes in the three cigarettes as much as symbolic of the corruption of nature that's become a blackly divine rite of our human ways. "Quickening" as a rush to death in service to the "younger god" of addiction. Hastening life toward death through it is a perversion of the vices of Pan, indulgence which brought life. If I missed it all, apologies, the insights are just flora of a fascinating poem's plural truths. - Brendan
ReplyDeleteI like what you did here. The picture suggest decay, but also something else, a response to decay. And your poem catches that. Good one.
ReplyDeleteThis poem makes me think back to the days of pestilince and disease on UK shores. All those bodies dead. Great work here Barbara x
ReplyDeleteBarb, oh, that is nice and so eloquently expressed.
ReplyDeletePamela
A haunting poem! words are carefully chosen to express them in an amazing way possible
ReplyDeleteAs time makes way for new gods, so too will it make way for new addictions. To me, if I may be so bold, (not normally!) this speaks to our neverending cycle of self-destruction. far from a victim, our girl has stepped up, despite knowing how it will all end. While I agree that there is that element of being left feeling uncomfortable, I think this also points to great bravery.
ReplyDeleteHarsh. But the image of Pan is brilliant!
ReplyDeleteWow! A very heavy piece, but you told it in such a way that there's a kind of strange elegance in the situation and I still feel a bit of hope, too.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most original takes on the photo I've read thus far - superb work!
ReplyDelete