Sunday, February 27, 2011

vocabulary words...




it takes a lot of reading
repeating before reaching
surrender -
sleepless nights sweating in denial.  denial
not a word we care often to visit, a poignant
reminder we're drowning well
in it...

going down ..
         once...

and ego
now there is an Oscar
winning role, (inflated, elated, self-control)
pride ..p follows e, but not forget
manipulation...rearrangement
if we hurry no one
will see...a quick cover

the real me....going down
          x's two

missed a few
moments, few meetings a
few morning kisses
...missing in action
reaction not good...  forgiveness gets if-y, if-ier
self falls, crawls (not good) -
ego blown...torment that word begins....denial denied,
pride spelt without p - manipulate
- to late and we

going down - for
           .. third time --know
                   that ones the killer

 unless we expand our
                 vocabulary to include (S) word
                            Surrender....

bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2011

Posted for One Shot Wednesday at One Stop Poetry: Where Poets, Writers and Artists Meet
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36 comments:

  1. UnknownFebruary 27, 2011 at 11:02 PM

    wow, I found this to have a great rhythm, & sooooooo cleverly written.
    this is a poem I'll enjoy more & more as I read it again & again & again.
    :)

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  2. signed...bkmFebruary 27, 2011 at 11:03 PM

    Thanks Anthony...I am glad you like it....thought most good relate to it in some way...thank you...bkm

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  3. FireblossomFebruary 28, 2011 at 3:53 AM

    I don't think the Coast Guard can help with this one.

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  4. Brian MillerFebruary 28, 2011 at 6:05 AM

    smiles. surrender is hard...wanting to control that which we know we can not until broken, too often we real eyes there is more strength in erceived weakness...

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  5. UnknownFebruary 28, 2011 at 6:50 AM

    Surrender no matter to what is so difficult, and sometimes manages to sweep us away to the sea of denial, only to be found again...

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  6. RJ ClarkenFebruary 28, 2011 at 7:48 AM

    Boy did that describe some of the moments of last night's award show (which also serves as a metaphor for some bigger meanings in life, too,)

    What a rich, well-worded poem. I surrender to it.

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  7. AnonymousFebruary 28, 2011 at 10:28 AM

    I once cast an I Ching oracle which told me that surrender was the only escape. Abyss Doubled: Drowning upon Drowning: Self lost in self-centeredness. As you say, there's no way out of this downard count except by getting on one's knees. Loved it. - Brendan

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  8. Jannie FunsterFebruary 28, 2011 at 4:41 PM

    Extremely wise take on ego, smiled at that whole bit about changing things quickly before we're found out. So true how we do that.

    Surrender. I like that too. We resist, when surrender is the true way through.

    Excellence!

    Xo

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  9. SheilaFebruary 28, 2011 at 9:12 PM

    don't I know it...I wish there was such a thing as an egoectomy...it would make my life a whole lot easier :)

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  10. MERYL JAFFE, PhD - parent, psychologist, teacher, author...March 1, 2011 at 8:31 AM

    WOW - what a wonderful poem! And I love this blog - it is so easy to navigate.

    I am an educator and blog about parenting and education. I LOVE what you are doing with the prompts for kids' poetry. It was equally as wonderfully fantastic as this blog.

    I will come back for more!

    All the best,
    Meryl Jaffe
    www.departingthetext.blogspot.com

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  11. anthonynorthMarch 1, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Ah, surrender. Not always easy. Great, deep words.

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  12. Jessica KristieMarch 1, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    I got sucked in and couldn't look away. Really intense and beautifully done.

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  13. RiverMarch 1, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    Great piece and what a topic you took on.:) You had me the whole way through.

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  14. UnknownMarch 1, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    surrender would be easier if my grip wasn't so firm...

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  15. flaubertMarch 1, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    Surrender is not always so simple, Barb.
    I was enthralled with this from the beginning.

    Pam

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  16. SuziCateMarch 1, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    sleepless nights sweating in denial...until we learn surrender. I felt every word of this.

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  17. UnknownMarch 1, 2011 at 5:49 PM

    Wow, this is perfect. I can so relate. Reading your work is like taking a trip with twists and turns, and I always enjoy it :)

    "forgiveness gets if-y, if-ier" - Boy, do I understand this, and it is all about surrender.

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  18. KBMarch 1, 2011 at 6:17 PM

    I can relate also. Great One Shot.

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  19. Brian MillerMarch 1, 2011 at 6:21 PM

    did you change the title of this?

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  20. L.L. BarkatMarch 1, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    Particularly this...

    "unless we expand our
    vocabulary to include"

    yes. :)

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  21. knot eyeMarch 1, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    to write with honest self examination takes a certain alienation, coupled with mirrored determination...it is so easy to look away...I admire this piece

    Peace, hp

    thank you for stopping by (somehow I feel your words as the antithesis to mine)

    note*
    that (one's) the killer?

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  22. GlynnMarch 1, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    The way you use and manuever the words is stunning. Well done, B.K., so well done.

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  23. OliviaMarch 1, 2011 at 9:49 PM

    Barb Dear,
    It couldn't be any better said! I liked how with some sentences it explained pride and surrender- a word n its practice abandoned long back I guess!

    This is one of those pieces that ought to be framed n put up in the Living Area- such is its beauty!

    Thanks for your blessings- always would need them.. Sending you warm wishes xox

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  24. hedgewitchMarch 1, 2011 at 10:10 PM

    I love the way you've juggled the letters and words, made the mind stop and go over the concepts, not just skim them but think about them-- then reduced them all down to something quite simple, if one can only do it.

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  25. LeslieMarch 2, 2011 at 5:24 AM

    It's interesting to me how you use the image of drowning (going down once, twice, three times) to represent the death of relationships due to pride and control issues... juxtaposed with your appeal to surrender as the hope.

    We often think of "surrendering to the waves" when we think of someone drowning, so I'm seeing a sort of death either way - holding on to control means death to relationship, while giving in, surrendering, means death to self, but ultimately life to relationship.

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  26. TashtooMarch 2, 2011 at 5:47 AM

    I have been to the brink where my surrender was forced, and I missed the opportunity to heal. Needless to say, next time, I was a willing participant in my surrender, kicked my ego to the curb, and found my way back to self, and came back a stronger and better person for it(with some pretty intense inspiration to use as muse!) And yes...Mr. Crosby has a home not very far from me at all. I have seen, but do not know personally. I'm not a big fan of hockey, and it's funny, because of your comment, now to me, he represents poetry! :)

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  27. Ami MattisonMarch 2, 2011 at 6:51 AM

    Yep! It's amazing the suffering we endure and the delusions we construct--all to spare our fragile egos and false pride--when surrender is as simple as a bowed head and folded hands. Love the cadence of this piece and particularly appreciate the way it unfolds, returning to the beginning.

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  28. AnonymousMarch 2, 2011 at 7:09 AM

    This is my favorite of all of yours that I've read.

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  29. AnonymousMarch 2, 2011 at 7:23 AM

    Surrender carries so many powerful meanings. When I consider one of the greek words for worship (proskuneo) I think of how it offers the meaning of full surrender… Proskuneo literally means ‘to kiss towards’ like a dog licking his master’s hand. What an image and one that at first glance appears to be humiliating…until the semblance of loyalty, dedication and faithfulness is realized. The very surrender that threatens to pull us under is the same surrender that allows us to emerge as stronger people. Thank you for the vivid image of one who is drowning and yet, with surrender, comes new hope. As always, I so appreciate your thoughtful, provocative poetry!

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  30. SarahMarch 2, 2011 at 7:32 AM

    This is a great reminder for me this morning. Let go. Stop stressing. I'm gonna read this a few times. Thanks for reminding me I'm not nutty.

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  31. PoetriNMo'shunMarch 2, 2011 at 10:03 AM

    this poem entices the reader..very seductive and a pleasant read :)

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  32. KavitaMarch 2, 2011 at 1:31 PM

    Wonderfully clever, Barbara.. and so true too!
    That little word (ego) is so heavy, it call pull one down in no time!!
    Aahh...surrender! Sometimes sweet...and sometimes, it's just the last resort...

    The poem seemed like the description of a relationship going sour...
    A very poignant read... but so subtly and beautifully done! Bravo!

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  33. SuzMarch 2, 2011 at 3:16 PM

    so well done

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  34. PattiKenMarch 2, 2011 at 7:30 PM

    I felt this one. Surrender is always hard for me (the S-word I'm more likely to hear about myself is "stubborn"). It takes a few near drownings in pride to teach that surrender sometimes means survival.

    Really good, my friend.

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  35. signed...bkmMarch 2, 2011 at 7:51 PM

    Thanks everyone for all your great comments...especiall great to meet some new people...you all are so great...bkm

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  36. Shashidhar SharmaMarch 3, 2011 at 1:24 AM

    Dear BKM

    Good write.. and powerful at that too.. Surrender come out so vividly...

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/03/whispers-winter-dew.html
    Twitter @VerseEveryDay

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