Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Tap on the Door...

like a tap on your door
i come to you, like a tap on your door in twilight
with prayer and a kiss you beg me be more;
"be more...
than just a tap on my door in the night"

like a step through your room
i come to you , like a quiet stepping through time
with a touch and a breath you beg me be more;
"be more...
than just a step though my room in the night"

like the light of the moon
i come to you, like the fullest moon comes subtle and bright
and shines on four posters you beg me be more;
"be more...
than love, be my lover that comes in the night"

bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2010


Magpie Tales #29 ---- Sorry,  I am a hopeless romantic....bkm

48 comments:

  1. Let's hear it for romance... :)

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  2. That was gorgeous, love the romance of it.
    Great Magpie.

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  3. Yes a romantic... and she wants more than just a tap on the door.. good Magpie

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  4. smiles. that is ok...the hopeful romantic in me loves it...smiles. makes me think of tossing pebbles at windows...nice mag...

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  5. Why would you be sorry? It's our gain.

    Loved this. The pacing is graceful and who can't relate to the situation? Who hasn't wanted more, at some point, with someone? I know I have.

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  6. Romantic, yes. But hopeless, never! The hopeless ones write hopeless poetry. Yours, beautifully developed via the successive "be more . . . " lines is anything but hopeless. One of the ones we read more than once, to enjoy the poem, then to study the craft that went into writing it.

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  7. Signed...bkm, you are a true romantic! Tap on the door reveals this once again. So lovely and wonderful. :-)

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  8. oooooh, how very romantic, lovely!

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  9. i can't say anything to equal the profundity and comeliness of your lines.

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  10. Lovely, lovely poem, with such heartfelt feelings. I'm a hopeless romantic, too. Sigh.

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  11. sweet but not saccharine.
    I like it.

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  12. Don't apologize for making beauty that calls to all of us to want more...

    Elizabeth

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  13. There's a hopeless romantic in us all, for some it's just buried deeper than others. Great magpie! =)

    -Weasel

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  14. There's nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic.

    This is a lovely piece of writing. I loved the last stanza.

    'like the light of the moon
    i come to you, like the fullest moon comes subtle and bright
    and shines on four posters you beg me be more;
    "be more...
    than love, be my lover that comes in the night"'

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  15. Thank you all for your lovely comments and I am so happy there are so many romantics out there...may your lifes be filled with blessings and Romance....bkm

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  16. There's always room for romance. Very nice.

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  17. I can hardly remember romance but it must have been glorious at the time!! :) Well done!

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  18. Very beautiful, and (mine favorite word) tender. Thanks.

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  19. Sweet and delightful, and oh, so romantic.

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  20. I just love the poem with this passionate, romantic desire.

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  21. That tap on the door...so slight, so elegant yet powerful. Beautiful!

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  22. love love love this! It may sound a little lame, but reading this makes me want to go dig out all my old poetry books and maybe try writing some of my own again!

    Your blue post is great also, but this poem seriously rocks!

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  23. that was awesome! I loved the repetition, especially of the word tap - using the word tap in repetition at the beginning of the poem gave the poem a great beat (like listening to someone tap dance) that continued through to the end of the poem. Really good!

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  24. A beautiful poem, bk. I loved the quoted lines.

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  25. if we could all write like you, BKM, then we would all surely be filled with love. That would be no bad thing. Beautifu write.

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  26. The yearning is palpable..so well done!

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  27. nothing hopeless about this poem - it is beautifully paced and beautifully expressed

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  28. I love it!! great poem, very romantic!!

    :)

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  29. Beautiful, so romantic. I love it too!

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  30. It is not only romantic. It is hot!

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  31. very sweet this romantic poem...

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  32. steamy and romantic... very good job!

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  33. I second Lydia. It is hot! I loved the repetition of "be more..." Gorgeous poem and very sensual.....

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  34. 'Be more...' Yes you are a big romantic bkm. I'll secret it under my pillow (and my wife's) in the hope that hopeless romanticism will live on in my household.

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  35. Beautiful. And you're right . . . romantic.

    Beautifully romantic. Or romantically beautiful. Take your pick.

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  36. I really like the 'beg me be more', especially as the brain wants the typical like beg me for more. I think it's a strong line, made better by repetition.

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  37. Love the "hopeless romantic" in your writing :) Great magpie

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  38. Hopelessly romantic is just fine when you write like this! This was also a bit haunting which helped set the tone, just loved it!

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  39. you shouldn't be sorry at all, this is great! I dont think i've enjoyed a poem as much as this one in a while. fab rhythm and rhyme, just couldn't get enough. just think of being a romantic as one of your strengths, not a weakness.

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  40. WOW!!! And the romantic soul speaks again!!
    Such a beautiful crafted poem...

    Love always seems to beg for more... but hey, no complaints at all!! It's all fair, I guess :)

    Enjoyed reading and re-reading this poem...

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  41. We should all be as hopelessly romantic as you!

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  42. I really like the lyrical, Victorian sensibility of this.It is quite beautiful.

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