i come to you, like a tap on your door in twilight
with prayer and a kiss you beg me be more;
"be more...
than just a tap on my door in the night"
like a step through your room
i come to you , like a quiet stepping through time
with a touch and a breath you beg me be more;
"be more...
than just a step though my room in the night"
like the light of the moon
i come to you, like the fullest moon comes subtle and bright
and shines on four posters you beg me be more;
"be more...
than love, be my lover that comes in the night"
bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2010
Magpie Tales #29 ---- Sorry, I am a hopeless romantic....bkm
Let's hear it for romance... :)
ReplyDeleteThat was gorgeous, love the romance of it.
ReplyDeleteGreat Magpie.
Yes a romantic... and she wants more than just a tap on the door.. good Magpie
ReplyDeletesmiles. that is ok...the hopeful romantic in me loves it...smiles. makes me think of tossing pebbles at windows...nice mag...
ReplyDeleteLovely poem. Great Magpie
ReplyDeleteWhy would you be sorry? It's our gain.
ReplyDeleteLoved this. The pacing is graceful and who can't relate to the situation? Who hasn't wanted more, at some point, with someone? I know I have.
That you are! Lovely Magpie
ReplyDeleteRomantic, yes. But hopeless, never! The hopeless ones write hopeless poetry. Yours, beautifully developed via the successive "be more . . . " lines is anything but hopeless. One of the ones we read more than once, to enjoy the poem, then to study the craft that went into writing it.
ReplyDeleteSigned...bkm, you are a true romantic! Tap on the door reveals this once again. So lovely and wonderful. :-)
ReplyDeleteLyrical loveliness. ((sigh))
ReplyDeleteyes you are
ReplyDeletebeautiful
oooooh, how very romantic, lovely!
ReplyDeletei can't say anything to equal the profundity and comeliness of your lines.
ReplyDeleteLovely, lovely poem, with such heartfelt feelings. I'm a hopeless romantic, too. Sigh.
ReplyDeletesweet but not saccharine.
ReplyDeleteI like it.
Don't apologize for making beauty that calls to all of us to want more...
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
There's a hopeless romantic in us all, for some it's just buried deeper than others. Great magpie! =)
ReplyDelete-Weasel
There's nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic.
ReplyDeleteThis is a lovely piece of writing. I loved the last stanza.
'like the light of the moon
i come to you, like the fullest moon comes subtle and bright
and shines on four posters you beg me be more;
"be more...
than love, be my lover that comes in the night"'
Thank you all for your lovely comments and I am so happy there are so many romantics out there...may your lifes be filled with blessings and Romance....bkm
ReplyDeleteThere's always room for romance. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteI can hardly remember romance but it must have been glorious at the time!! :) Well done!
ReplyDeleteVery beautiful, and (mine favorite word) tender. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteSweet and delightful, and oh, so romantic.
ReplyDeleteI just love the poem with this passionate, romantic desire.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and moving...
ReplyDeleteThat tap on the door...so slight, so elegant yet powerful. Beautiful!
ReplyDeletelove love love this! It may sound a little lame, but reading this makes me want to go dig out all my old poetry books and maybe try writing some of my own again!
ReplyDeleteYour blue post is great also, but this poem seriously rocks!
that was awesome! I loved the repetition, especially of the word tap - using the word tap in repetition at the beginning of the poem gave the poem a great beat (like listening to someone tap dance) that continued through to the end of the poem. Really good!
ReplyDeleteA beautiful poem, bk. I loved the quoted lines.
ReplyDeleteif we could all write like you, BKM, then we would all surely be filled with love. That would be no bad thing. Beautifu write.
ReplyDeleteThe yearning is palpable..so well done!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, romantic poetry.
ReplyDeletenothing hopeless about this poem - it is beautifully paced and beautifully expressed
ReplyDeleteI love it!! great poem, very romantic!!
ReplyDelete:)
Beautiful, so romantic. I love it too!
ReplyDeleteIt is not only romantic. It is hot!
ReplyDeletevery sweet this romantic poem...
ReplyDeletesteamy and romantic... very good job!
ReplyDeleteI second Lydia. It is hot! I loved the repetition of "be more..." Gorgeous poem and very sensual.....
ReplyDelete'Be more...' Yes you are a big romantic bkm. I'll secret it under my pillow (and my wife's) in the hope that hopeless romanticism will live on in my household.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. And you're right . . . romantic.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully romantic. Or romantically beautiful. Take your pick.
I really like the 'beg me be more', especially as the brain wants the typical like beg me for more. I think it's a strong line, made better by repetition.
ReplyDeleteLove the "hopeless romantic" in your writing :) Great magpie
ReplyDeleteHopelessly romantic is just fine when you write like this! This was also a bit haunting which helped set the tone, just loved it!
ReplyDeleteyou shouldn't be sorry at all, this is great! I dont think i've enjoyed a poem as much as this one in a while. fab rhythm and rhyme, just couldn't get enough. just think of being a romantic as one of your strengths, not a weakness.
ReplyDeleteWOW!!! And the romantic soul speaks again!!
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful crafted poem...
Love always seems to beg for more... but hey, no complaints at all!! It's all fair, I guess :)
Enjoyed reading and re-reading this poem...
We should all be as hopelessly romantic as you!
ReplyDeleteI really like the lyrical, Victorian sensibility of this.It is quite beautiful.
ReplyDelete