Tuesday, September 28, 2010

just reward...


there is blood in the saddle that I took up to ride
and the shale that cuts the cord
I can no longer hide, between the sheets and
the wind that pulls the heart towards hell
and I'll sip with you one bottle, while
the beat of belly swells, you say, " muster up
the courage," spoken by some unnamed saint;
contrition for the devil, is that accepted by your
god?  that bears me take another
mouth with no words for food
or symbol of a morrow, which to light its face
only grace given for repentance as shale cuts
the cord, calling it deliverance
and my just reward.......

bkmackenzie
copyrighted 2010


Posted for One Shot Wednesday, Where Poets and Writers Meet

this piece is about the state of poverty - in which many women find themselves in...bkm

44 comments:

  1. I can no longer hide, between the sheets and
    the wind that pulls the heart towards hell
    and I'll sip with you one bottle, while
    the beat of belly swells....
    Beautiful words and poem!

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  2. Whoa (and that is not a pun). Such powerful stuff, bkm. I don't know which image pulls hardest.
    Thank you for this.

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  3. wow. power poem...shale cuts the cord and...pow....you rocked this one shot....

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  4. just reward...what powerful write!

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  5. Yes, strong words this week. Excellent.

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  6. Snappy poem. Fairly crackles in places, very sharp metal words. The effect is very powerful and makes for an emotionally-driven reading of the poem. Time well spent, thanks for sharing on 1SW.

    crb.

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  7. I really liked reading this piece, sad indignation is my feeling. Thanks for the insight too. You are such a fine poet...Thank You.

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  8. An intense poetic reflection...
    "and the shale that cuts the cord
    I can no longer hide, between the sheets and
    the wind that pulls the heart towards hell"
    wow. Powerful lines throughout the poem.

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  9. This is so good it makes me hate you just a little bit. Why can't I write so well?

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  10. Fantastic Job once again. Very powerful message backed up by an equally powerful poem.

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  11. thanks you all so much...the first line came and rest wrote itself....I must thank my muse on this one....bkm

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  12. powerful bliss ..i heard the drums of my soul..screaming, tight write! :)

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  13. One thinks the world has come forward; but it has far to go to give equality or any sense of freedom to many of the world's women. The most heartbreaking thing is it is other women's compliance in abuse of women that allows it to continue. This is a powerful piece, with dramatic images. Thanks, Gay @beachanny

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  14. Reminds me of the highwayman
    There is strength here and loss too

    Great One shot

    Moon smiles

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  15. Wow this is a powerful poem BKM...so many great lines...poverty such a devestating condition...

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  16. This deserves more than one reading. That strong opening grabs attention and holds it to the end, which carries a tone of bitter resignation.

    Your use of "shale" - a material that shatters easily into fine pieces - is noteworthy, especially when combined with "cuts the cord".

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  17. I think this is your most powerful poem yet. Like Maureen above said...I read it three times. Very well written.

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  18. Oh I'm glad I got here tonight before bed...so I can remember as I fall asleep, the gratitude I must have, and pray for the billions who suffer so. Thank you. You were inspired for THIS one!

    Thanks for coming by mine also...

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  19. So dark and so powerful. The imagery is magnificent.

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  20. There is a rhythm to this that feels like the beat of horse hooves. I too was reminded of The Highwayman. I liked it a lot.

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  21. It's 12:30am and I read this through 3 or 4 times. I will find this again in the morning knowing that somewhere someone needs your voice to speak out for them. This is power. Grace filled power. Thanks

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  22. Strong and powerful poem. I read again after you explained... You did an awesome job.

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  23. I love how diversified you are as a writer. You are deep you can be light, you are poetic and interesting. So much talent in one person. How wonderful!

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  24. I would love to thank you all personally for your time and wonderful comments...so please take it as such....you comments for me are encouragement ...thanks maureen for seeing the significance of the shale, thanks tammie for your words on being diverse...that is one of my goals and your thoughts expressed are cherished....to all blessings...bkm

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  25. Excellent poem bkm...and these are the lines poems are made off. Your diversity in your writing makes me appreciate your poems a great deal.

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  26. Raw poetry that bites and pummels at you.

    Really powerful poetry, bkm.

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  27. Brilliant - Powerful - poignant

    I love your poetry!

    loveNlight
    Gabi

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  28. Loved the diction in this, how the words play and resonate off each other.

    Strong imagery, as in,
    "there is blood in the saddle that I took up to ride
    and the shale that cuts the cord
    I can no longer hide...".

    Thanks for this one, it's a winner!

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  29. sharp and biting, indeed. very well written and powerful. love your half rhymes.

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  30. Enjoyed the internal rhyming and mysterious tone. Wonderful unusual image of cord being cut with shale. Vivid.

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  31. I agree with every ones comment on how powerful your words were in this poem, and I think Beachanny said it best in her comment about women the world wide and abuse.

    Nice write thank your muse for working overtime,
    Joanny

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  32. "Mouth with no words for food.." So poignant and lovely... I enjoyed it so much...


    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya

    I will great if you connect with me at Twitter @VerseEveryDay to read daily #FreeHaiku on love, life and longing

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  33. Incredibly suggestive. A bit haunting. I am engaged by its mystery. - bill

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  34. wow, what a deep and meaningful piece. while i was reading:'while the beat of belly swells, you say, " muster up the courage," spoken by some unnamed saint contrition for the devil, is that accepted by your god?"... reminded me of how i was quite shy or even afraid at times to share/challenge the preacher's belief. I loved the way you constructed the layout.

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  35. Wonderful Oneshot my friend, loved the layout so much. Hugs to you xx

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  36. wow bkm...this was one strong, powerful piece...i also echo joanny with beachannys comment..a wonderful one shot...take care my friend..pete

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  37. Loving the poetry this week ;) Can't wait for Wednesday again! x

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  38. You never cease to AMAZE me. Love and Light, Sender

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  39. Your work always amazes me. Thank you.

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