tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post581713762500241616..comments2023-12-31T18:57:00.607-08:00Comments on Signed.....bkm: Heart and Bone - Rondel IIsigned...bkmhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03558304976280070986noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-76376654396184160722011-03-30T00:12:29.314-07:002011-03-30T00:12:29.314-07:00I love the darkness and foreboding nature of this ...I love the darkness and foreboding nature of this piece -- wonderfully manic, in a Poe-esque sort of way... tasty...! :)robkistnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08166835029205143266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-50415282275474272852011-03-29T07:53:47.329-07:002011-03-29T07:53:47.329-07:00I love this. Heart and bone move together in so ma...I love this. Heart and bone move together in so many ways. "Closed these ears to sounds of nether" we can all understand that at times. Beautiful work, bkm.dshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07616750784052488695noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-79154596159905046942011-03-29T04:51:45.088-07:002011-03-29T04:51:45.088-07:00..the bird cries out now longer, -shrill,..
I enjo.....the bird cries out now longer, -shrill,..<br />I enjoyed the whole piece, the feel and what is speaks; <br />the above line was most loved, for I liked how it <br />caused me pause.. wonderful~amfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03070273186190764830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-78328765217751552902011-03-28T23:41:35.125-07:002011-03-28T23:41:35.125-07:00Really like this bkm, your flow is wonderful !Really like this bkm, your flow is wonderful !JL Dodgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12713220952100680871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-91705395231217818492011-03-28T19:05:36.061-07:002011-03-28T19:05:36.061-07:00love the musicality of this one bkmlove the musicality of this one bkmTempleton's furyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07569680717037747033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-20988787941253739122011-03-28T14:25:35.109-07:002011-03-28T14:25:35.109-07:00dang the heart and bone moving together is of itse...dang the heart and bone moving together is of itself a great image bk..and you play off it through out...the tether of the clock too...Brian Millerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00722940075884718007noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-64953946748215379852011-03-28T14:22:48.180-07:002011-03-28T14:22:48.180-07:00I really had to work at this one--and my brain kep...I really had to work at this one--and my brain kept adding "to's" and changing verb forms...which felt wrong, so that I finally just ended up reading it with mental commas here and there--then it started to have a shape for me. I like the last verse especially.hedgewitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13090696134322515899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-85453753048120695262011-03-28T14:08:56.106-07:002011-03-28T14:08:56.106-07:00Subtracting "to" before move is an inter...Subtracting "to" before move is an interesting choice and a poetic one I think. Clearly you did not do it for the sake of syllable count or for rhythm as it would have worked with other anapests sprinkled through here. I think you did it to focus your reader as it certainly has that effect. Measuring days by mockingbird songs and worn down clocks is an excellent metaphor. This works and works in a unique way. Thank you. GayBeachannyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08638256396472533685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-18471000064712043972011-03-28T13:26:05.556-07:002011-03-28T13:26:05.556-07:00This is a beautiful poem and the way it's writ...This is a beautiful poem and the way it's written seems to give it a childlike feel (though it is a very mature creation). Thank you.Corinnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14581819225069644563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1230025349331591828.post-19589849710224197702011-03-28T12:34:30.376-07:002011-03-28T12:34:30.376-07:00oh wow - i love this bkm
the only line i stumble a...oh wow - i love this bkm<br />the only line i stumble a bit is<br />Or bask I as all fair weather?<br />i would think about making it a bit more fluent even if it means adding one syllable (meter is free anyway..)<br />maybe:<br />Or do I bask as all fair weather?<br />but that's just cosmetics - really like your piece - it's greatClaudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03011763027311966186noreply@blogger.com